ipad & air hockey

In the past couple of weeks I've had 2 distinct conversations with Bronson.  They were short, but it was a two way conversation...which is HUGE! I went out on a limb a few times and asked Bronson open ended questions, instead of our usual yes and no responses.

The first one happened after his summer school session.  We were sitting on the couch and I said, "Bronson did you have fun at school today?"  He smiles and proudly yells, "YES!"  I then step out on my limb..."Bronson what did you do at school today?"  He says "I play with ipad!"  I was so shocked and excited!  I said, "You played with ipad at school?!"  He was equally as shocked and excited that I understood him, and he repeated..."Yes! I played ipad at school!"  We repeated this over and over.  It brought tears to my eyes, how communication was being bridged.

Today as we were leaving the YMCA, I asked Bronson, "Bronson what did you do at the Y?"  He says, "I play air hockey!"  WOW.  I couldn't believe it.  I responded to him, as we walked back to our car,..."Oh wow, that sounds like a lot of fun!" 

To most, these conversations are common place.  But for us, this is a huge accomplishment and an excitement, that I am having a CONVERSATION with my son.  A dialogue back and forth, that so many take for granted, but oh what a beautiful thing.

Weird Tears?--Where the Wild Things Are

So I watched "Where The Wild Things Are" yesterday.  I didn't really have any expectations about the movie.  But as the movie started, I began to tear up watching this little boy.  His character clearly had a form of autism.  Once I made this judgement, I watched the whole movie through the eyes of autism, and was tearful during the whole movie.  Most people, who have no interaction with autism wouldn't make this judgement call about the movie, I would say.  A lot of people would probably say the movie is "weird", "creepy", "depressing", etc...But if you look at it through this little boys eyes, it is a precious story. 

No one understands how his mind works.  His mom tries her best.  The little boy (Max) acts out a lot in the beginning.  A lot of parents would look at this as he is out of control (on the surface-he is), and that he needs to behave better.  But what I noticed in the beginning, was certain things "set him off", and a child with autism has to learn out to deal with these "set off" moments.  Change was happening in the movie, the mother had a visitor over, she made a different dinner than normal, his sister did not come to his rescue when he was crying earlier in the day,...all these different instances lead to his "outburst", and thus thrusted us into his imaginary world.

The creatures in his imaginary world are, in fact, strange looking...but if we can move past this and look at what the characters represent, you will have a whole new outlook.  I believe the characters represent  different facets of this boys mind.  Listen to what they say, how they talk, what is coming out of the mouths of these characters--struggles that Max deals with, and how he wars inside his mind for a physical outcome of the struggles.  One part that I thought was awesome, was when they crowned him, and made him "king".  They all cheered, "Yay for our king!  You are smart!  You are so smart!"  Can you see where I'm coming from with my thought process?

At the end, as Max was sailing away back to his reality, the creatures began howling, and Max howling back.  One might look at this and say, why are they doing that?  That's weird.  I look at this scenario as the creatures "get it".  They understand Max, and he understands them. (his mind)

When Max came back home and was eating his cake, I loved how the mom just stared at him.  I related so well to this.  She wanted to get inside his mind, she loves her son so much, and just was content loving him, and trying to help and understand. 

I cry as I write this, because this movie touched me so greatly.  I encourage you to watch this movie again through the eyes of autism, and maybe you to will shed some "weird tears". 

Egg Decorating--Veggie Tales Style

Bronson is obsessed with Veggie Tales, so Meme sent him the Easter Veggie Tales DVD and the corresponding egg decorating kit.  The boys and I decorated some eggs this morning, and had an indoor egg hunt.  It was fun.  Here are some pictures!

      (we dropped the eggs in each of the colors waiting for them to change colors!)

                               (Brock decorated some of his eggs with the stickers)

                                           (Bronson is proudly saying "Eggs!")

                                       (Brock holding the "Bob the Tomato" egg)

                                                      (The finished product)

                                We did it, it was fun, and it's documented!  Happy Easter!!!!!

Bronson's 1st week of school

Bronson started his new school last week, and he made the transition beautifully.  People asked me if I cried while dropping him off, and I confusingly say "no".  I don't know why.  When I dropped Brock off to school when he was young (back when I worked days), I did cry.  Maybe it's because he was the first child...or maybe it was because he cried when I left.  Bronson gets excited about school, and walks right in, not looking back.  The main teacher in there is great.  She's been in the same classroom for 7 years!  She's really soft spoken and gentle.  She has 3 other helpers in there as well.  The classroom is integrated for those with special needs and those without.  Right now Bronson is FASCINATED with shapes and colors.  He can name all his shapes and colors.  We will be driving down the road and he will be randomly calling out shapes and colors that he sees in the world.  As we were walking past our car to get in, he pointed to the reflector on the side door and said, "orange oval!"...yes, indeed it was an orange oval.  I had to sneak this picture of him, as he didn't want his picture taken on the first day of school.  This is him walking into his classroom.

Since Bronson is at school 4 mornings a week for 3 hours, it's just been me and the Brockster.  We've done fun things, as well as do some much needed errands that I can't do with Bronson in tow.  Here are some pictures of what the 2 of us have done.

     (after waiting at the car shop, we went to Barnes&Noble to look around and play with the train table)

                                                 (rented his favorite movie, "Tangled")

(surprised him with a stuffed "Mario" that he thought Santa would bring him for Christmas next year...he would hold it every time he saw it and say, I get to see you next Christmas...it was too cute, and I couldn't resist)

Brock has been so sweet with Bronson.  He looks out for him, and introduces him to new friends on the playground. "Hey, that's my brother Bronson,...he's 3".  It melts my heart.  They have conversations with each other in the backseat of the car while driving.  Bronson proudly calls his brothers' name "Brott!"

Determined Moms Wait in Blizzards...

I decided that since Brian was going to be in seminar all day at school, I would get the kids out to see this great "Cars 2" exhibit at the transportation museum.  It was a free event, and advertised that it had life-size cars from the movie.  Cool right?  I hyped it up with the boys, and off we went. 

I figured that since we would most likely just be getting out of our car, walking into a warm building to look at the exhibit...no need for big heavy jackets that I'll have to carry. There would probably be ropes and a bunch of their cars, and we walk around and look and enjoy ourselves.  Just long sleeves and fleeces will do right?  *side note* check weather before leaving!

The exhibit was up this long hill, and there was a LONG line.  So we waited, and waited some more, inching forward.  Then it started to snow....and I mean SNOW.  Keep in mind, we're still not in heavy jackets.  I felt so bad for the kids, but we had already waited in line at this point, and they wanted to see Lightning McQueen. 

(waiting in line when snow just began)

(Bronson looking at advertisements while in line)

(waiting to see Cars)

We finally make it up there, and it was an outside pavilion with 3 cars.  Tow Mater, Lightning McQueen, and the blue one.  Basically, you could pick 1 car to get your picture in front of....they hand you a card, and you can look at it on your computer after 48 hours.  What?!  We can't even walk by all the cars to look at them.  Who designed this set up....clearly not a parent. 

We walked through the blizzard back to the car, (I warned all parents in line on my way back...I would have wanted to be warned)...kids were snotty nosed, red faced and Bronson was crying at this point.  Oh forgot to mention, that I had Bronson (40 lbs) on my hip for an 1 1/2 hours b/c otherwise, he would have ran everywhere.  We make it inside our car, and I look turn around in my seat and look at both boys staring at me.  Bronson is crying snot everywhere, hands red and puffed up like balloons they are so cold, and Brock wet with snow.  Then I started crying b/c I felt so bad, that it was so cold, and it wasn't what we were expecting.  So we all sat in our car crying. lol!  We got over it once the car warmed up, and now home eating a snack and drinking hot chocolate.  I'll be sure to post the "free picture" that we got with Tow Mater, once they post it online.  I'm sure it's quite hilarious.

(On our way home,....this is what we stood outside in)

Here it is....Here is the infamous picture we waited out in the blizzard for.

all I can say is....wow.

"Thank You" is for another day

I took the boys to the library today, and I usually let them check out a couple of dvds along with their books.  Bronson usually finds a Thomas the Train or Veggie Tales dvd that he likes, and then holds a death grip on it until we have to go.  When it's time to check out our books, I have to pry it out of his hands to let the lady scan and unlock the case.  During this time the "quiet" library is all staring at a screaming red face child.....who doesn't understand that he will eventually get the dvd back.  HOWEVER, today was thankfully different.

Bronson found a Veggie Tales dvd that he wanted, and I kept reminding him during the course of the library.."Bronson, you can take that home, but the lady is going to have to scan it first.  You are going to have to hand it to the lady".  I wasn't sure how much he was grasping, but nonetheless, it was check out time.  We walked up to the counter and Bronson WILLINGLY HANDED OVER THE DVD.  No questions asked.  I was amazed.  I said, "Good job Bronson!"

The library lady proceeded to go slower than molasses to check it out.  Bronson, not screaming, but insistently saying over and over below the counter...."tales, tales, tales, etc..."  "I know, bud, she's going to check it out and hand it back to you, good job.".  Meanwhile, I'm staring at her,...HURRY UP.  Then the 'all knowing' library lady tries to hand him a book mark to distract him.  Bronson throws the bookmark at her and says, "TALES!".  She asked me what he was saying, and I said, "He is saying Veggie Tales, if you could just please unlock it and hand it to him." lol.

She gives it to him and he smiles.  I was so proud of him!  Then the 'all knowing' library lady says sarcastically, "oh, was that supposed to be a 'thank you'?"  Expecting him to have said thank you to her.  Which probably a child that is his size and age, should, but she has no idea what a daily struggle or victory is in his life.  I just smiled at her and shook my head and said, "You know what?....I am so proud of him right now, for willingly handing that dvd to you.  You have no idea what a huge deal that was for him."  I look at Bronson, rub his head and said, "Proud of you, bud". 

Yes, "thank you" can wait for another day.

                                                                

Boys' Birthday!!!

I decided to do another video blog of the boys' birthday.  Brock turned 5 and Bronson turned 3.  Wow, time flies.

The boys had a GREAT time at their birthday!  They were worn out by the time we got home, and fell right to sleep with their new Woody the Sherriff and Buzz Lightyear!

Positive Reinforcement

1 Peter 1:13-14
"Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance."

Two lines stuck out to me today when reading this. "prepare your minds for action"--our minds are so clouded with useless information, or distractions rather,...how can God speak to me, if my mind is too distracted to notice.  We have to make a conscious effort to quiet our minds. 

"As obedient children..."-- This stuck out to me b/c I'm a mom, and desire to have obedient children.  We are God's children, and of course He wants His children to be obedient, have good attitudes, etc...  One thing I do with my children is positive reinforcements.  Not bribes, but reinforcers. (a bribe is when you give the blessing before the task....a reinforcement is given after the task is completed...just to clarify)  I'll tell Brock that when he completes such and such, or if he can sit quietly during mom's meeting etc..., then we will have this reward, or get to do this. I desire for him to complete his task!  I desire for him to see the reward that I have in store for him!  How much more does God our Father want to give us HIS reward?  Simple.  Be obedient.  But, it's not so simple is it?  So often we want our immediate man-made blessing....when there is a much better one ready to be handed out by God.

Happy 6 Years!

Brian and I celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary on March 5th.  We got a babysitter and we just had a nice night out.  We went to BedBath&Beyond, out to dinner, and shopping.  We decided to do a video blog of the night with our new flip cam that Brian won in a contest. :-)  Enjoy!

I'll sit the bench!

I titled this blog, "I'll sit the bench!" because that was my goal concerning Bronson 6-8 months ago.  I wanted to be able to sit on the bench at the park and watch both of my boys slide down slides, climb the ladders, and pretend they are on a big pirate ship, on the park's jungle gym.  It warmed up this past week a little bit, so I took the boys to the park, and guess what....I sat the bench!  Bronson ran around, climbed the stairs to the slide, while holding the railing...no crawling, climbed the ladder all by himself, walked across a platform (with sides...don't worry) that you could see the ground through. (last time, sensory-wise, this was too much for him, so he would crawl across).  He did it!  This is a picture of him climbing the ladder!  Don't worry, the grumpy expression is one of concentration not irritation. :-)

We got done with TouchPoint 2 weeks ago, and it was a great program.  Bronson surprised me, along with his therapists, with how much information he retained, and how much he craved it!  He loved session time more than the play room!  He loves shapes, so anything they gave him concerning shapes, he was all about it.  He did great with block imitation, matching, imitating, etc.  I learned a lot with how to communicate with him.  I didn't realize how many times I repeat myself.  "Bronson, sit in your chair, Bronson, it's time to sit in your chair....Bronson, right here buddy, here's your chair, etc"  wow.  simmer.  I learned say it once!  Then guide them to do what you need them to do, otherwise you end up being Charlie Brown's teacher.  I also learned a technique "active ignoring", for bad behaviors.  And to constantly praise and get excited when he is doing something correctly.  It's natural to just go about your day when things are going right, and then say, "no, and stop" when things step out of line.  This is re-training your thinking to constantly notice and praise the good...so therefore it's reinforced.  I can use this with Brock as well, of course! :-)  This is a picture of Bronson stacking blocks at home.  He loves blocks as well.

Brock had fun at his preschool that he went to for those 2 weeks.  He's getting so big.  I can't believe he's going to be 5.  Brock is really good at leggos right now.  I can't even build the stuff he does.  He enjoys the computer as well.  He likes to play the games on playhousedisney and the veggie tales website.  Here are 2 pictures of some of Brock's leggo masterpieces.  The first one is of a boy, and the second picture is of a dog.

We've made it through another winter here, and ready for spring time, so we can continue to be outside!  Bring on the sunshine!!!

Country Music?

You might have heard through the grapevine, but I am indeed going into country music.  This is somewhat of a surprise for me b/c I didn't plan this since I was a little girl.  I've always known I've wanted to sing, and this genre fits perfectly.  A lot of the songs I write are secular...not bad morally or anything, but not something that I could get up and sing at a Sunday morning service.  I didn't know what to do with these songs...I started copyrighting them and then just hanging on to them.  Would I sell them to other artists?  Keep them for myself for the future?  One thing was for sure....I didn't want to just sit on them, and let life pass me by only to have done nothing.  It ended up being the latter option.  Country music is accepting of morals and family values, as compared to other pop genres.  Plus, I love it!!!!

I brainstormed on how I could make this happen, and what I wanted my career to look like.  Then I thought of my friend Jason back home.  We've sang together for years back in youth group and college, our voices blend really well, and personalities would work well for the music/business side of things.  I approached him about the idea, we talked and thought about it, and then, hey.  It's a go!  Now, between the two of us we have 18 songs.  Right now we're in the writing stage, as we are states apart.  We're going to be getting our stuff copyrighted soon, and start posting it on YouTube, facebook, etc.  So be looking!  We need all the support we can get.  It's our goal to get that done, and then by next year, start playing in local venues.  It's funny b/c our youth group...back in the day, recorded a CD, and Jason and I sang a duet on it with the guitar.  It was somewhat country in sound to, lol.  Who would have thought 10 years later, we would circle back around and be jumping into a music career.  You never know what you are doing now, will prepare you for something in your future.  On a side note, we have a lot of band names in mind, but the front runner as of date is, "October Creek".  Be watchin for us!!!

For Those Who've Never Served

I've learned a lot while serving in a restaurant.  This is the first time I've ever worked in the restaurant industry.  Which is somewhat odd to people already working there my age,...most of them have been doing it for years.  A lot of young people start when they are entering college.  I'm doing it because my husband is in college, and I stay at home with the kiddos.  I have come across some pretty interesting people (guest-wise) to say the least.  There are certain things that now annoy me as a server, but maybe I didn't pay attention to as a guest....before working in the industry.  Here are some rules to live by, my friends.

1.  20%. Plain and simple.  That is the "new" "15%".  I'm not being greedy, it's just I expect that tip amount when I give the service that I give.  If I don't get 20% I think to myself, hmmm, I wonder what I did wrong, or what happened?  If they tip below 15% I chalk it up to, they are just plain rude or ignorant.  If I get above 20%, I think wow!  They were really nice, and blessed me tonight!  Made up for people who tipped "below".

2.  *side note to #1* Did you know we only get $3/hour as a wage?  we depend on your tip. :-)

3.  If you use a gift card, have a coupon, or get something taken off your bill...guess what?  You tip off of the original bill.  Not the discount amount.

4.    When a server comes to your table, to ask what you want to drink, introduce themselves, ask how the dinner is, etc... Please do not ignore them and continue talking like they are not there.  Rudeness.  I think you can take 3 sec. of your time to smile and say, "I'll have a coke please, or Everything tastes great, thanks!" After all YOU chose to come out to eat and be served....you have a server.  If it is something that you need privacy for....go home or rent a private booth at another restaurant that does that. We're not bothering you...we're just doing our job.

5.  Manners.  First of all you should treat everyone the same, but I would just like to point out that....you don't know the back-story to your server!  I didn't choose to be a server b/c I can't do anything else.  I have a college degree, going to be a performer/singer, and my husband is studying to be a chiropractor.  Respect.  Please, Thank-you, smiles, not thinking you are "above" your server.

6.  We don't cook your food.  You would be surprised at how many people act like they "think" this.  If you have to wait a little bit longer for your food than normal, it's not because "we're out back chasing the chicken" or "we're out back picking the tomato". (yes, people have said this)  It's because the kitchen is backed up, and you chose to come eat between 6:45-8pm. Wait time has nothing to do with the server, please don't take it out on them.

7.  Be aware of close times!  If the restaurant closes at 10pm, do not get in there @ 9:45pm expecting to sit down and eat a relaxed meal.  It's rude. You didn't "just make it".  I would say a good rule of thumb is, a hour before close to be the latest to eat.  You have to figure, you're not going to leave there until right before close.  Also, if servers are still around, and you are thinking "oh, they're still here...we're fine".  hello.  We're here, because you are :-)

8.  Credit card, great!  Cash, great as long as no change needed...or saying "hey, just give me a $5 back" would be fine.  During the shift you have a lot of tables going on and to stop and go get change, etc...slows you down.  Credit/debit cards we just swipe it, deliver it to you, and then we're done.  Cash, when people say, "no change needed"...bless you.  *side note* go ahead and pay your server after the check is delivered.  Guess what?  You can still sit there and visit to your hearts desire...it just allows us to close out your check on our end.

I wrote this because honestly I had no idea about a lot of these things until I worked in this industry.  Someone once said, everyone should be a server at one time in their life.  I totally agree with this statement.  You appreciate the hard work that is done.  If I have helped someone here have a "light-bulb" moment by writing this, I'm sure their next server will appreciate it.  And my job is done.

                                                                 

What's been going on here

Last Friday little Bronson and I went to the hospital for him to have his adenoids taken out, with the possibility of tubes being put in his ears.  My sister Cheryl was so gracious and came over the night before to spend the night so she could be there with Brock the next morning...as Bronson's surgery was SUPER early.  I waited in the waiting room and the Dr. came in and said, "I really feel I need to take his tonsils out as well.  They are really huge."  (Basically this means a routine 30 min surgery, and out of there in an hour turns into 4 hours recovery and 7 days recovery at home). 

(my sleepy bear)

Bronson did beautifully when he came out of surgery.  I was nervous b/c after his tear duct probe in November he went ballistic when he came out of surgery.  But this time, they let me be right there as he was opening his eyes, and he didn't cry once.  He just remained extremely sleepy.  We finally left the hospital, and went home to take it easy.  He's been recovering pretty good.  The last couple of days though, I had to give him the stronger pain medication, b/c he's in so much pain. :-/  Hopefully he will be on the upward slope soon.

(on our way home after surgery)

Brock has been having fun with Mommy-son days, and Daddy-son days, as he can only go out with us by himself since Bronson has to remain at the house.  On Saturday I took Brock to go see Yogi Bear at the theater.  He had fun!  Then we went to the library to pick out some "movie-time" movies, books, and music.  On Sunday Brock went with Brian to run some errands and to play at the Y.  Today I got to go to my zumba class while Brock played at the Y. (Brian stayed with Bronson), and then Brock got a kid hot chocolate from Starbucks.  So he knows that we can't do a lot with Bronson, but he's having some fun one-on-one time. 

Signing off for now!

"Autism" and where we go from here

Most know, but our little Bronson as been involved in the program called First Steps for the past year.  We first signed him up for this because he wasn't walking at the time.  After we began therapy, we noticed other things that weren't quite where they needed to be developmentaly in speech and cognition.  He also was and is very sensitive sensory-wise.  He's been in speech, physical, and occupational therapy.  This is a wonderful service offered by the state of Missouri, and I encourage all parents, even if you are a little hesitant or wondering about your child's development....get them screened.  It's free of charge for the screening and they will let you know if your child could use services or not.  Early intervention is key.  Bronson has come leaps and bounds compared to when we first started and I know he will continue to.

This past week we took Bronson to his pediatric neurologist.  It turns out that he is on the autistic spectrum, but  in the middle with what is called..."PDD"-Pervasive Developmental Disorder.  This is not full blown classic autism, but has characteristics that an autistic child has, and therefore still on the spectrum.  Autism is such a BROAD range.  I really had no idea, and I will continue to learn.  I'm going to be attending a program called "Touch Point" with Bronson in February that will teach us how to interact better with Bronson and help both of us communicate better and work through things that "set him off".  If you go to the link below, click on "Olivia's Story" and it will give a great example of a little girl similar to Bronson (aside from biting), and how the program has helped them.
http://www.touchpointautism.org/

I'm so thankful that Bronson is a happy child.  He laughs, gives hugs and kisses, etc....I am SO THANKFUL for this.  We continue to count our blessings, because as with everything....things could be way worse.  We are getting him help early, and I believe that will help him reach his fullest potential.  Again, I encourage parents....don't ignore "feelings" or "possible worries or signs"....early intervention is KEY.  I'm really glad Brian and I didn't push away our thoughts....or said, "maybe he'll grow out of it", but rather sought out help, and got it.  Deep down our feelings and thoughts were right.  You might be right about your child.  You are your child's biggest advocate. 

It has been an emotional ride, but we have learned to take one day at a time.  That's what the Bible says anyways!  "Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself".  Thank you to all our friends and family for your encouragement and help.  It has meant the world to us.  We love you.  And thank you for loving Bronson.